Right now I’m sitting on a train from Munich to Frankfurt watching Transformers. I’m pretty excited cause I found out German high tech train “ICE” has power outlets for my laptop which means FUCK YOU battery pack bitch.
Transformers by the way is pretty friggin awesome. They don’t make movies like that anymore. Nowadays it’s all about dragons or ... hobits (enough with the hobits!!!!) and lesbians raping their dogs before changing genders and everybody speaks British English and pretends to be sophisticated. Which is why I didn’t care for the blonde girl on Transformers too much. The way that woman talked made me throw up in my mouth a couple of times. How about we just agree to agree that British English is disgusting. I’m not saying we should set up a worldwide law prohibiting and punishing it (altho, I’m not saying we couldn’t do that either) but we should at least try to contain it and keep it da fuck out of action movies. Keep french people away from those too while we’re at it.
Of course, the language and accent wouldn’t have kept me from having sex with the girl. And here’s the thing too ladies ... what’s the deal with some of you and your eyebrows? Do you actually think shaving em off and painting em back on makes us horni(er)? Let me put it this way: NO.
We didn’t even notice women had eyebrows until some of you started doing that shit and you have NEVER, and will NEVER hear the words: “Listen honey, you are so hot I wanna hammer you right here right now in front of all those strangers till sundown IF IT WASNT FOR YOUR EYEBROWS, they pretty much gross me out. Good Day”
Again: this will NEVER HAPPEN, HAS NEVER happened and should it ever happen I’m gonna change genders and hang myself afterwards.
Back to the movie and it’s awesomeness, especially when it comes to reality – for me, the underneath tag line of Transformers was not about robots or aliens or how secretive governments are but about one thing and one thing only: Yes, Michael Bay - It would take a fucking alien robot invasion to change stupid whores from doing the “I think you’re cute and funny and nice, but now I'm gonna go blow my boyfriend the quarterback” scheme.
Really? You’re unhappy with your relationship? You think you arent being treated right? Well, how about next time you get over your disgusting shallowness and pick your bf based on at least 20 percent character and how he treats you instead of how much he can bench press and what car he drives? I’m just spit balling here, but it sounds pretty goddamn reasonable, now doesn’t it? (btw. ladies, I benchpress a fuckin lot and drive a Jeep but ... whatever yknow)
But we all know what’s gonna happen. You’ll cry and moan and ask yourself why men are assholes, and then you’ll go to a bar and instead of having a drink with the nice waiter when he gets off work, you’ll jump right on top of the dick of the attending jock – and you know what – that’s cool, that’s so cool with me. But bitch please, please spare us the drama and the tears and the ‘I wonder what I’m doing wrong’. YOU KNOW what you’re doing wrong, I KNOW what you’re doing wrong, even the dipshit quarterback knows what you’re doing wrong.
So here’s what’s gonna happen eventually … and I know this, cause I’m the next damn level in male evolution:
At some point, men just won’t be interested in you bimbos anymore. Are you scared Amber sweetie? You should be. Cause although women THINK they are way more about inner beauty, in reality, men are (once again) gonna be the ones that pick up the ball and run with it instead of just talking about shit.
Yea. It’ll happen whores. One day, in the near future, men will pick their partners only based on character. Sure, looks are always gonna be important, and I sure as hell wont date people like this, but overall, the male race (yes, I said race) is gonna set the standards and moral highgrounds - yet again.
The End
Transformers by the way is pretty friggin awesome. They don’t make movies like that anymore. Nowadays it’s all about dragons or ... hobits (enough with the hobits!!!!) and lesbians raping their dogs before changing genders and everybody speaks British English and pretends to be sophisticated. Which is why I didn’t care for the blonde girl on Transformers too much. The way that woman talked made me throw up in my mouth a couple of times. How about we just agree to agree that British English is disgusting. I’m not saying we should set up a worldwide law prohibiting and punishing it (altho, I’m not saying we couldn’t do that either) but we should at least try to contain it and keep it da fuck out of action movies. Keep french people away from those too while we’re at it.
Of course, the language and accent wouldn’t have kept me from having sex with the girl. And here’s the thing too ladies ... what’s the deal with some of you and your eyebrows? Do you actually think shaving em off and painting em back on makes us horni(er)? Let me put it this way: NO.
We didn’t even notice women had eyebrows until some of you started doing that shit and you have NEVER, and will NEVER hear the words: “Listen honey, you are so hot I wanna hammer you right here right now in front of all those strangers till sundown IF IT WASNT FOR YOUR EYEBROWS, they pretty much gross me out. Good Day”
Again: this will NEVER HAPPEN, HAS NEVER happened and should it ever happen I’m gonna change genders and hang myself afterwards.
Back to the movie and it’s awesomeness, especially when it comes to reality – for me, the underneath tag line of Transformers was not about robots or aliens or how secretive governments are but about one thing and one thing only: Yes, Michael Bay - It would take a fucking alien robot invasion to change stupid whores from doing the “I think you’re cute and funny and nice, but now I'm gonna go blow my boyfriend the quarterback” scheme.
Really? You’re unhappy with your relationship? You think you arent being treated right? Well, how about next time you get over your disgusting shallowness and pick your bf based on at least 20 percent character and how he treats you instead of how much he can bench press and what car he drives? I’m just spit balling here, but it sounds pretty goddamn reasonable, now doesn’t it? (btw. ladies, I benchpress a fuckin lot and drive a Jeep but ... whatever yknow)
But we all know what’s gonna happen. You’ll cry and moan and ask yourself why men are assholes, and then you’ll go to a bar and instead of having a drink with the nice waiter when he gets off work, you’ll jump right on top of the dick of the attending jock – and you know what – that’s cool, that’s so cool with me. But bitch please, please spare us the drama and the tears and the ‘I wonder what I’m doing wrong’. YOU KNOW what you’re doing wrong, I KNOW what you’re doing wrong, even the dipshit quarterback knows what you’re doing wrong.
So here’s what’s gonna happen eventually … and I know this, cause I’m the next damn level in male evolution:
At some point, men just won’t be interested in you bimbos anymore. Are you scared Amber sweetie? You should be. Cause although women THINK they are way more about inner beauty, in reality, men are (once again) gonna be the ones that pick up the ball and run with it instead of just talking about shit.
Yea. It’ll happen whores. One day, in the near future, men will pick their partners only based on character. Sure, looks are always gonna be important, and I sure as hell wont date people like this, but overall, the male race (yes, I said race) is gonna set the standards and moral highgrounds - yet again.
The End
